I believe that everyone's life is different, we just got to accept what we have and what is given to us. May fate fall upon one, one will not lose it. Whatever the future holds for me, i will accept, be it that i might transform into another person. Who knows what becomes of me next time.Good life always come to an end and i think mine is ending.
I am seriously poor now, all the money has gone into my aussie education. School fees, logistics, electricity bill, water bill, internet fees and many more.I signed up for student apartment, very expensive. Honestly, i dont know if i can pay back the loan in future, will i be capable enough? will i do well? I read the papers, many parents sell their house or downgrade to send their kid overseas to study.I don know if i should be happy. Currently, my family is facing some problems , (not relationship), luckily my uncle is a lawyer. Time to save money, buy only what i need.
My mum was telling my aunt that she doesnt want me to get a BF, study first but i also heard that my dad allows it. lol. If i am in love, nothing will stop me.
Turning 19 this year, my birthday will be a quiet one. Time to think for myself .I guess i am growing old on the inside, when i see cute little babies, i feel like starting a family but aint sure if i am capable. ONE'S Abilities are always doubted.God created my looks and features for a purpose, if he wants it this way, so be it. I accept my fate. Although one may not be so lucky compared to others, i am sure each person have their qualities.
My life is different from my parent's , i cannot rely on them for money all the time and there was this sad day that my father talked to me. He said, i wont live long due to my stressful work load , so take care of mummy in future.I can see him age by the day. I cried.Life isnt that simple.

I feel weird blogging about this sort of things recently but i bet it's part of growing up.However, sometimes i don see this in others, they are much happier. Maybe they can hide it well.

My new goal:
Change to a more responsible person.
Buy things if only neccesary.
Think more than twice for each thing i wan to buy .
I wan to attend church in aust, i need trust and support.
Believe that god has open an opportunity for me.